Years after my divorced, I found myself in an unbalanced scale of life. Normally, there is a pendulum that ensures the weight of each life is balanced, but in my case I got stuck in the negative side. My life was supposed to be balanced regardless if the previous marriage ruined me, but when the scale becomes too thick and heavy – it becomes a burdened punished life.
Letting go is something that I refused to let go. Even though past comes to past, the previous life story was something good to have. There was a “thing” in the past that have made me alive and made me strong that I reluctantly I don’t want to diffuse. Is it because of one true love? Or is it because of the pain I endured?
To many people I assume that letting go is a separation between the past and the present reality. The truth has told you that it’s time to move on, but your reality in what you have now is like you are still living in the past. No one likes the idea of separation, but life falls into sorts of troubles when you can’t prevent some situations in your life. “It just happened that way,” said by most people that I knew who went to separation or divorced.
To most broken hearts, letting go of a relationship may take years to dissolve. They are the ones who got hurt and somehow they can’t move on. To them it’s both memories and pain that what they are enduring. They persist to survive by facing these difficulties, but it is simply hard to cope. Some people are strong, but others suffer more when they are surviving a life they don’t deserve.
Many have tried but when there are any third party is involved – it is like a big knife that stabs you in the back. Cheating destroys love. When you are being deceived by someone you love, it destroys you. That is why I never watch the movie “Unfaithfulness” by Diane Keaton and Richard Gere. It brings back bad memories. You can’t escape the past especially when you feel that you had been taken advantage of by someone who took the same vow to love you.
Letting Go of a Relationship: Memories
Why can’t you let go?
That’s quite a simple question that requires big answers. To me it is the memories that are holding you back. It’s combination of love, anger, hate and pride. This becomes a baggage of a burden life later on that you have to carry where ever you go. Even throughout a day, this baggage makes you feel weak, hopeless and desperate every time it reminds you of the past.
Letting go the old relationship takes both strength and courage, but some people are not equipped with it. Memories are designed to remember a certain knowledge that we learned from a person, a situation and an experience. It gives us the ability to extract this information to be aware of what life would be for us. When you think about certain memory, what is does is to convey you the information you need so that it could serve you in times of need.
Memories help you to retain knowledge of what happened in the past by allowing you to make informed decisions. Since you had a bad relationship due to communicating issues in the past, you are now trying to improve by taking the time to listen.
Do you need to let go all the bad memories?
Not all bad memories are bad. You still need this to live your life. Letting go of your old relationship is not about erasing the past, but holding to it to make you strong. If you can transform a bad memories to something good, you are building a recollection of your life before and after. It helps you to remember what you were before and what you are now.
I managed to transform my bad marriage into a new meaningful life by developing my self-esteem. I told myself that my future wife will never experience what I had experience. I will serve her faithfully and will love her with all my life. When I think about the past, I can tell you mostly everything that had happened without any emotional setback. I moved on because God preserved my thoughts.
We need God to help us to be strong in times of our hopeless times. When we are trying to let go, God is not letting go. He holds us until we regain our strength and hope back in ourselves. God gives us the preservation of life when all things come down to us.
Letting Go of a Relationship: Psalms of David
“May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight (Psalm 119:76-77).”
Letting go of your old relationship in the past can be done through the grace of God. We are servant to God. We are servant to one another. We exist to provide service to those who needs love and comfort. If you are being rejected, don’t lose hope in life because there is always going to be another one who deserves you.
The truth is you will never forget the past. Regardless of the years had come; your memories are going to remind you the sorrowful life you had on that particular person. You can’t forget everything, but God is always in your heart and mind to remind you to be strong. His words are your strength when you can’t let go.
What are you really trying to achieve?
To me it is comfort. It’s impossible to be in the state of comfort when you are being constrained and exhausted of the past. However, God heals you broken heart. If pain comes as your worst enemy, God offers relief. God hears your cries and complain. If you need to outcry your anguish, you can with God. Every time you feel pain, He is in pain. When your old relationship turned you down, God can lift you up for the next one.
Your mind is like a king. It has throne that separates your holy mind from any part of negativity. Your mind has the responsibility to keep it on the highest level of thinking. God gave you the mind to control your thoughts. Its purpose is to remember God. It serves you to remember what you had in the past so that you can something to live for. The past is history, but it doesn’t mean you have to forget it. The history is what makes you knowledgeable. This is why God gives you the mind to think so that you can learn from the past.
Therefore, letting go of a relationship from the past is something you want to hope for. This is something you want to cherish. The past is what you have become now. You have to choose either to live with it or destroy by it.
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